i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
