five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize