FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
