Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize