why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
