In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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