You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
