school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
