im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I touched a dick in church today
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
