My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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