filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
