I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
