she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
