About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
