Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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