That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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