we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
