If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
