What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
