if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
