Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
