"it" just moved
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
