Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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