you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
