I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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