I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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