used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
her facebook's as public as her vagina
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
