Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
