In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
