Got a toothbrush?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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