Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize