we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
