True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
