Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
