this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
