I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
