He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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