I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
