this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
