The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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