this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
