New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
