white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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