I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My liver just broke up with me...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
