they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize