Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
