remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
