i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
