I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
