that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
