I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
