you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize