babies were throwing up all over the place
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
