My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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