You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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