My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize