I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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