i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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