can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
