no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Vodka?
Forever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
